Marriage

I'm for it! I say this in the climate of Western civilization where a couple might just as well live together rather than marry. I'm not old fashioned about marriage. Far from it. Same sex couples ought to have the right to marry. Polygamy ought to be allowed for those who believe in it. Marriage is an extremely social institution in that it is defined very arbitrarily by the societies under whose jurisdiction it falls. The religious right in America talk about such things as the slippery slope. If same sex marriages are allowed what next? The union of three--God (their god) forbid! Marriage between man and beast? Or perhaps as one comedian suggested the marriage of a man to his car. Pleease! There are one billion Muslims in this world who for centuries and to the present day have practiced a form of polygamy. Are they no less human or humane than Christians?

That marriage is a sacred institution which cannot be tampered with is such baloney. What does sacred mean anyway, and how can anything be deemed sacred under secular law? All social mores and practices change as peoples' attitudes and society at large changes. No one can deny that there have been sea changes in the attitude and behavior of people in Western societies over the past few decades. The fact is that there is the widespread realization that love and sex can be shared among members of the same sex no less than by members of the opposite sex. Like it or not the genie has been let out of the bottle--the apple has been bit. People are aware of this reality. Whether or not the majority would assent to allowing same sex couples to wed, it cannot deny the fact that such relationships are real. To be cognizant of this reality and yet refuse to sanction such unions is a clear form of discrimination and denial of rights.



I remember reading once about how the world of the 21st century would be different. I was either in college or in high school then, in the late 70's or early 80's. One prediction was that same sex marriages would be part of the norm. Already within the first decade of the new century that prediction is yet to come true except for in a few parts of the world. It is hard, however, to imagine that it will not be true by the end of the current century, throughout the whole of the world, even the Muslim world. Such is the nature of social change.

I'm for the idea of marriage because more than anything else it both symbolizes and promotes the idea of commitment. That two (or more) people should be able to make a choice to willingly commit to one another is essential when relationships otherwise stand or fall on the fickleness of feelings and emotions. Whether child or adult human beings require a sense of permanence in relationships. Though the rite of marriage will not guarantee such permanence--in fact nothing can--it certainly contributes to it. Even with the apparent ease at which many seem able to divorce, the act of marriage still conveys a sense of commitment between individuals like nothing else.

So, I believe marriage is an important bond through which individuals are able to commit themselves to one another. I am of the Western mindset that this is the foremost purpose and significance of marriage. I am not of the traditional mindset that marriage is for the rearing of families. This is certainly one of its functions, but not an essential nor primary one. Such an idea would be considered radical in traditional societies which exists perhaps in the majority throughout the world, still yet. Certainly all children should be raised within a familial unit by parents who are in a committed relationship with each other. But the act of marriage seems both logically and chronologically to be first of all an expression of love and commitment between individuals who want to share their lives together. That they may go on to raise a family is a secondary function of that realtionship.



I am not a traditionalist, for whom it seems sex and reproduction are the raison d'être of marriage. Sure, that is how it works in the animal kingdom, but aren't we created in God's image? I believe that human relationships are a bit more complicated and involve much more than the need to repopulate the species.

I am for marriage and believe that any two (or three) mature individuals ought to have the right to join in such a commitment. It is a sad state of affairs that still in the world, especially in the "enlightened" West, millions are denied their right to marry. Of course, this pales in comparison to the tyranny that traditional societies exert on individuals through the practice of arranged marriages.